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Comrade Rodriguez Twitters to the Masses (Update #2...)

Continued from earlier...

Recently we have found a new source of sinful entertainment on par with Jerry Springer at his prime, the Twitter feed of USC Head Coach, Pete Carroll. Apparently, in an effort to better connect with the youth he is trying to recruit to Troy, he found two new toys, Twitter and a TwitterBerry enabled Blackberry. We've been following the meaningless, and generally mindless, ramblings of Petey and decided we must approach Comrade Rodriguez to learn what our Leader would shout to the world (140 characters at a time) if he were so inclined? As the leading vanguard of his Revolution, Comrade Rodriguez has made his Tweets available to the WLA in order to disseminate the wisdom to the masses:

"LOIs are rolling in on the old fax machine. Note to self: shred all these when I retire in 20 years."
8:30AM Feb 4th from TwitterBerry



"Lost Pearlie to Texas Tech. Leach promised him he could play WR in their new jumbo 9 wide formation."
10:14AM Feb 4thfrom TwitterBerry


"Woah! I just got Boss Cocked! Nice one Barwis! GLORY DAYS!"
11:02AM Feb 4th from TwitterBerry



"All right, Robinson and Witty are in! I like that Deerfield Beach. Stopped by to soak up some rays in my Speedo before I visited those guys."
11:30AM Feb 4th from TwitterBerry


"What? If you got it, flaunt it. Amirite? THE LEADERS AND BEST IN BANANA HAMMOCKS!"
11:32AM Feb 4th from TwitterBerry



"Dequinta, baby. Arkansas? You're breaking my heart. Hey, if you get a chance, tell Mallett to go fuck himself. Good luck!"
12:45PM Feb 4th from web


"Well, just waiting on Stokes now. I like this class. Lots of guys with good potential."
12:45PM Feb 4th from web



"I see more impact prospects at Michigan State. Jeremy Gainer, Blake Treadwell, etc. Dantonio's cleaning up. Also, I orgasmed when Te'o picked Notre Dame."
12:50PM Feb 4th from web


"WTF Lemming? Get off my Twitter you fucking sycophant. GO BLUE!"
12:52PM Feb 4thfrom web



"And Stokes finishes things up. I saw Kiffin vomit up Mrs. Stokes' meatloaf behind an azalea in their front yard. That's bush league. No pun intended."
2:43PM Feb 4th from web


"That's how you do it Dantonio."
2:45PM Feb 4th from web



"Man, recruiting is a grind. Looking forward to cracking open some PBR and catching up on Gossip Girl on DVR. What? Leighton Meester's a little minx."
2:57PM Feb 4th from web


"Alright, good break. Rust never sleeps and neither do I. Onto 2010. See ya next year partners."
3:06PM Feb 4th from web

Comrade Rodriguez Twitters to the Masses (Update...)

Continued from earlier...

Recently we have found a new source of sinful entertainment on par with Jerry Springer at his prime, the Twitter feed of USC Head Coach, Pete Carroll. Apparently, in an effort to better connect with the youth he is trying to recruit to Troy, he found two new toys, Twitter and a TwitterBerry enabled Blackberry. We've been following the meaningless, and generally mindless, ramblings of Petey and decided we must approach Comrade Rodriguez to learn what our Leader would shout to the world (140 characters at a time) if he were so inclined? As the leading vanguard of his Revolution, Comrade Rodriguez has made his Tweets available to the WLA in order to disseminate the wisdom to the masses:

"Petey only loves airports because he only steps on a plane to poach a 5*. Every other recruit he gets is a 2 hour drive from LA. NWA ELITE STATUS!"
6:52PM Jan 27th from TwitterBerry


"So many great travel stories, eh, Petey. Like missing that flight last night? Two more nights on the road. WE'LL LEAVE THE LIGHT ON FOR YA!"
10:24PM Jan 28th from TwitterBerry


"Petey, "Barracuda" sucks. Of course my theme song right now would be Johnny Cash "I've Been Everywhere" especially if the 'where' is in Florida."
12:45PM Jan 28th from TwitterBerry

"Spending some time ignoring this year's recruiting class in the hopes of getting Pryor. White Tuxedo rental - $100. Getting Pryor? Priceless"

2:04PM Jan 29th from TwitterBerry


"Spoke with Larry Foote. Met him over the summer with Barwis. Wished him luck Sunday. He must be sniffing Palumalu's hair product if he wants to play for the Lions."
6:03PM Jan 29th from TwitterBerry


"Just told a QB that hasn't signed yet, but is in A2, that he can't wear all of those wrist bands, they'll interfere with his play cards."
4:27PM Jan 30th from TwitterBerry


"Alright, The Boss is playing Glory Days! Reminds me of playing football in college and scoring a hot little cheerleader."
8:25PM Feb 1st from TwitterBerry


"Guns don't kill people, but LaMarr Woodley kills old quarterbacks and their Super Bowl dreams. Congrats LaMarr and Larry."
10:14PM Feb 1st from web


"We're getting close to Signing Day. Keep checking as we post updates. Remember, coffee is for closers, but snake oil is for the pimp in a wizard's hat. GO BLUE!!"
11:59PM Feb 1st from web


"I really don't get the fax machine thing. Who has a fax machine? Why do we use it for this? Used to use the Pony Express at WVU, which made things difficult."
3:03AM Feb 2nd from web



"Song of the day - Peace Sells by MegaDeth ... Sheridan's favorite band! HAIL!"
9:00AM Feb 2nd from web



"Woooo hooooo! QW is coming to AA! The Ol' Ball Coach can suck my old coach balls. YELLOW THE FIELDS WHERE RIPENS THE GRAIN!"
1:15PM Feb 3rd from web


"Sorry. Still working on my sign off catch phrase."
1:17PM Feb 3rd from web



"Signing Day is finally here! The third most exciting day of the year after the season opener and the day each year when the McRib shows back up at Mickey D's. I'M LOVIN' IT!"
12:01AM Feb 4th from web


"I'm so excited I couldn't sleep and I'm headed to Schembechler Hall. THOSE WHO RISE EARLY... WILL GET THE BEST PARKING SPOT!!"
3:52AM Feb 4th from web


Stay tuned throughout signing day for more from Comrade Rodriguez as events transpire...

Comrade Rodriguez Twitters to the Masses

We must admit it, the members of the WLA indulge in a few guilty pleasures. These include ice cold Zima with watermelon Jolly Ranchers, wagering on the unicorn races as if we were JamieMac at the sports book on Super Bowl Sunday, fisking the dolts who write for the MSM, or throwing cold water on fellow bloggers who show disdain for all rational and reasonable thought and fail to employ humor in the process.

Recently we have found a new source of sinful entertainment on par with Jerry Springer at his prime, the Twitter feed of USC Head Coach, Pete Carroll. Apparently, in an effort to better connect with the youth he is trying to recruit to Troy, he found two new toys, Twitter and a TwitterBerry enabled Blackberry. We've been following the meaningless, and generally mindless, ramblings of Petey and decided we must approach Comrade Rodriguez to learn what our Leader would shout to the world (140 characters at a time) if he were so inclined? As the leading vanguard of his Revolution, Comrade Rodriguez has made his Tweets available to the WLA in order to disseminate the wisdom to the masses:

"Waiting for a flight. Congrats Pres Obama, great speech. Were all of those people watching the speech or waiting in line for the porta-john?"
12:05PM Jan 20th from TwitterBerry


"Trying to relax for a few minutes prior to the flight. iPod on shuffle. F***!! Country Roads again. That song haunts me."
12:16PM Jan 20th from TwitterBerry


"I think Petey's on to something with the catch phrase sign off. Lots to choose from with our tradition. Let's try 'CHAMPIONS OF THE "
3:48PM Jan 20th from TwitterBerry


"DAMN. 'WEST' got cut off. 140 characters isn't a lot to work with."
3:49PM Jan 20th from TwitterBerry



"Can't say where I'm at, but its warm. Great visit. A fine young man and family. He'd look great in Maize n Blue. HAIL TO THE VICTORS!"
11:39PM Jan 20th from TwitterBerry


"Early start this morning to drive six hours to catch b-ball practice and speak with the coach for tonight's recruit. GO BLUE!"
5:24AM Jan 21st from TwitterBerry


"About to leave the gate. One more visit this week before heading home to A2 for a big recruiting weekend. THOSE WHO STAY WILL BE CHAMPIONS!"
8:13AM Jan 22nd from TwitterBerry


"That might have been the best apple pie yet. Who doesn't love that about recruiting? Of course Barwis will own my ass starting Feb 5th."
11:55PM Jan 22nd from TwitterBerry


"Spent entire ride from DTW to A2 calming parents by telling them adults friending their sons on facebook is just creepy, not dangerous."
9:42AM Jan 23rd from TwitterBerry


"'just creepy, not dangerous' God, I hope that's true."
9:43AM Jan 23rd from TwitterBerry



"A load of recruits headed to my house for pool and Wii. I hope Rita made the Rice Crispy treats. IT'S GREAT TO BE A MICHIGAN WOLVERINE."
7:21PM Jan 23rd from TwitterBerry


"Just saw the last of the recruits off. Saw a great win for Coach Beilein and his team last night. Time to get ready for the calls about the e-stalkers. M-I-C-H-I-G-A-N!"
11:04AM Jan 25th from TwitterBerry


"I think that the 'M-I-C-H-I-G-A-N! Locomotive' cheer only works in person with an ancient cheerleader doing it."
11:05AM Jan 25th from TwitterBerry


"This is the final push ahead of Signing Day. Four more towns, then home to fill the fax machine with paper. HURRAH FOR THE YELLOW AND BLUE"
9:37AM Jan 26th from TwitterBerry


Stay tuned throughout signing day for more Comrade Rodriguez as events transpire...

Stan

Through various on-line rumor mills, it has become evident that Ricardo Miller has expressed a desire to take some visits. This update, pried by Scout and Rivals posters from Miller's facebook page, is accompanied by scuttlebutt that he has no desire to go elsewhere, and that his primary motivation in taking these visits is to gain access to the recruits at other schools in order to recruit for Michigan.

Frankly, this statement doesn't pass the smell-test. Schools spend money, and, more valuable, time, on recruits who visit. Inordinate hours are spent wrangling to be among the five schools that get chosen to visit, and nearly an entire weekend is spend once the recruit arrives on campus. Recently, Michigan cancelled the official visit of Florida recruit Jayron Hosley because he had publicly stated that he would certainly be attending USF. Rather than waste time and money, Michigan declined to host him, despite Hosley playing a position of extreme need.

Why would a school like LSU or Oregon (the two schools Miller mentions) waste their time and money on a recruit who swears up and down that he won't attend their school? Why would they host a player who's stated intention is to steal the other kids they are spending so much time attracting? If Miller attends visits at these schools, you can bet that Miller has pitched them a story different from that the one he's provided to Michigan fans. If the schools are willing to spend the time and money, and willing to place him around their fellow recruits, you can be sure that Miller has convinced them that he is at least taking the visit seriously - not as a clandestine operation for University of Michigan.

This begs the question: why? Even the seamy underbelly of college athletics known as recruiting has it's own seamy underbelly - and that is the adulation and border-line stalking that a recruit undergoes. We're not speaking even of the recruiting services like Scout or Rivals who make the decisions of these kids a viable business. Ricardo Miller, specifically, has granted hundreds of Facebook requests to complete strangers - strangers who's interest in him is limited strictly in his football ability and his stated desire to play at Michigan. Message boards have been littered with threads extolling the greatness of Miller - ranging from fantasizing about what jersey number he'll wear to ascribing things like "character" and "class" to a kid based purely on a purported love for Michigan. In the case of Tate Forcier, this fascination and idolization has sometimes sunk to the point that (adult?) posters will speculate and comment on the sexual conquests of an 18-year-old.

The level of scrutiny through which the disturbingly obsessed subject these teenagers to is vast. Recently, message board posters have cut-and-pasted passages from Tate Forcier's (possible?) Myspace page (most of these have been deleted by responsible moderators) for the purpose of being dissected by fellow amateur psychologists. Forcier's personal website, in addition to being a lightning-rod for controversy (how arrogant can he be?), is, like Miller's Facebook page, a conduit through which the obsessed can gain access to these players.

So, if you're Ricardo Miller or Tate Forcier - teenage kids - who have naively given a legion of obsessed strangers access to you (no matter how remote - it is just Facebook), based purely on their obsession with all things Michigan football, how do you break to this motley crew that you might want to take some visits without generating a ground-swell of hatred? The same people who define "class" as "liking Michigan" are the same people who will begin to assign negative character attributes to someone who chooses to go elsewhere. Such is how such bizarre explanations as Miller's are created.

In the end, the problem, clearly, isn't with Miller, and we aren't claiming that he won't, in the end, attend Michigan. We doubt that any seventeen-year-old would deal with a similar situation in any smoother a fashion. He's a kid that received a groundswell of adulation based on announcing his allegiance to a University, and he's clearly worried about disappointing all the people that he has attracted as a result. It has become cliche to say that we, as adults, shouldn't obsess to this degree over the whims of a teenager, but this is merely further proof. If you don't know Miller, don't e-mail him. Don't talk to him on Facebook. Don't sing his praises merely because of his association with Michigan and don't attack him should he visit, or attend elsewhere.

Pray for Originality

This is a late Super Bowl Open Thread. UM Alumni are everywhere and anywhere so be on the lookout. Woodley kills people and Breaston can now catch a screen so root for whoever.

Quote of the 1st quarter: "Steve Breaston is their third wide receiver, so when he's in they are in three receiver set". -John Madden

Remember this: Everytime John Madden states the obvious, a Unicorn dies. They may be extinct soon so pray for them.

BCS Mining

This is Juan Apaza. He works every day of the month, and does not get paid. On one day of the month, he is allowed to go into the gold mine and keep whatever he can take out. This could be a worthwhile arrangement if he worked inside a standard hole in Dirtgaria, a country where soil is as valuable as gold - but he does not, and he usually leaves with nothing.



This is Pete Carroll. He works tirelessly on the recruiting trail, in charity programs, and coaching his USC Trojans. Carroll has lead USC to seven consecutive 11 win seasons; but only two of these seasons have produced National Champions. One of these titles was an infamous split with LSU.


This is Rich Rodriguez. He is the oft-criticized (by some) coach that has brought the Revolution to Ann Arbor. He may not be embraced by the populace at large until he hoists a tacky crystal football into the sky.

I am guilty of being brainwashed by BCS sponsors, ESPN, and other fans that BCS Championships are the true measure of a successful program. When we talk about the future of Comrade Rodriguez, even here, we are guilty of day-dreaming about BCS Championship appearances.

It is good to set out sights high for the future. As a high school sophomore girl once told me via her pink text on purple background AOL Instant Messenger profile : "Aim for the moon; if you miss, you'll land among the stars". Ignoring the interesting scientific challenges presented - (what if I don't escape the atmosphere and just land as a smoldering speck of flesh in the Indian Ocean? What if I never make it to the stars and instead land ainside of a quasar a billion light years away? Is a quasar a star? Would I know this if I hadn't dropped Astronomy 101 because the math problems scared me?) - the message is simple to understand. There's nothing wrong with aiming high and hoping for the best.

But when we discuss aiming high, we must remember the context. Bo Schembechler, as we are quick to point out here, won exactly zero national championships. Since 1936, the first year the AP awarded a title, only 36 programs have won a share of either the AP, BCS, Coaches/UPI National Title. Of those, there are a number of one year wonders - BYU, Clemson, Georgia Tech, Colorado, Washington, Texas A&M, for example - that have only one title to their credit. National championships are a rare and beautiful event, and should be immortalized as such.

In times of financial uncertainty the price of gold skyrockets. I personally have three bars of gold, or at least lead painted yellow, stuffed in my closet in preparation for the inevitable economic apocalypse that awaits us all in the coming months. I believe that increased uncertainty in the college football combined with increasing national exposure of all teams has likewise magnified the importance of winning what is still (in my mind) a mythical national championship.

Due to the system that has been imposed upon college football teams are scheduling more cupcake games and depriving us of compelling inter-sectional match-ups during the season. With the small sample size of past decades dwindled down even further, we are left grabbing at any possible evidence to prove that our team or conference is better than the barbarian hordes of other regions. ESPN and friends spend hours every week detailing the game from all corners of the nation now. Instead of being content with wins over rivals and conference championships, fans demand excellence on a national level. The crystal football has become the only overriding symbol of dominance as a football team, while traditional indicators such as Rose Bowl wins have slipped to the wayside - enjoyed, but not coveted in the same way.

Pete Carroll was ridiculed by some for his statement that USC was the best team in college football. The haters told Carroll that he should have taken care of business on the field. But the Trojans only lost one game to a slightly above average Oregon State team. Florida lost at home to a similar Ole Miss squad, Penn St. to a solid Iowa team, Utah to no one, and the team with arguably the best resume (OU) was nearly left out in favor of Texas. Trying to winnow down the field from the contenders at the end of the season is an inexact science. This is not a pro-playoff polemic; rather, just an attempt to show that it is rarely as easy as "taking care of business" on the field. Winning, nay, playing for the BCS Championship requires good fortune and timing.

Even in the context of an undefeated season there is luck involved. Our fabled 1997 Champions nearly lost to Iowa, and came within a few inches of throwing a potentially devastating pick six against OSU in our penultimate contest. Without Heisman Trophy winning Charles Woodson it is likely Michigan would have lost at least one game. In the same season, Nebraska needed a kicked ball pass completion to defeat Missouri. Rare are the teams that steamroll through a schedule and make an overwhelming case that they are one of the two best - rarer still are the years where both teams accomplish this feat.

In all of human history enough gold has been mined to construct a cube that fits easily underneath the Eiffel Tower. Or to fill two Olympic sized swimming pools. Yet it has been a constant symbol of wealth and power throughout the ages, and will remain so for many more years. The pursuit of gold is often damaging to the environment, exploitative of the worker, and offers little utility to the human population at large. An obsession with becoming BCS Champions can take a similar toll on a team.

We all want a shiny new crystal trophy for Schembechler Hall - and spoken or not, every team sets their sights on that goal at the beginning of the season. But let us not fall into the trap that has been set - Comrade Rodriguez can lead us to glory and happiness without ever winning the mythical "Big One". Let us return our focus to what Mr Carroll has learned is the only thing worth worrying about; a conference title and a victory in the Rose Bowl. Take care of that, and the Wolverines will always be in the conversation. From there, let the cruel gods of fate settle our destiny.